Reminiscing after one year

Prior to graduating college, I secured two full-time job offers. One being in equity research and the other in business development for a clean-tech energy provider. I was interested in both, but neither made me excited to wake up in the morning. I wanted to help companies succeed, but these jobs didn’t give me the freewill and range to do that. To the dismay of my friends and family, I turned down two impressive offers to pursue something I wasn’t sure I’d be able to ever have.

However, that wasn’t the hardest decision of my life, in fact, maybe one of the easier ones. I knew I wouldn’t find my dream job sending cold applications, but rather through connections who knew and understood the type of person I was along with the ambition I had. I wanted to connect with everyone who was driving change. I was exchanging emails constantly, researching companies and hosted skype chats sometimes twice a day all while balancing school, a venture fellowship and pro-bono consulting work for an up and coming startup.

I got a taste of what I ultimately wanted – a life symbiotically intertwined with work and pleasure. During that year, I was positively impacting the companies I helped, and the people I met. I had exciting conversations that made me feel like I was on the path to attaining my goal, and I was. I met people from all walks of life ranging from VCs and startup founders to designers and carpenters. However, changed when I received two more full-time offers.

 In the palm of one hand, I had an offer from a strategic financing startup that specialized in helping small businesses scale. I loved everything about the company from the team to the dream.

 In the other, I had a great learning experience at one of the largest tech companies in the world. I was promised a role in strategy with the opportunity to help grow companies and startups alike.

This time around, I was happy with both offers and excited to start. The only problem was that I couldn’t work at both. For days I was unable to figure out which was best for me.

At first, the startup provided me the proximity to the companies I wanted to help, but not necessarily the mentorship and skillset I desired. I was scared to throw myself into a role while being so nascent to the industry. I thought this might actually hinder my chances at breaking into this type of role later in life.

When it came to the tech company, I didn’t want to be pigeonholed or sucked into a technology that didn’t interest me. I was told that I would be in strategy, something I saw as the perfect runway.

After toying with these ‘what if’ scenarios for days on end, I made my decision. Despite having a sexy title at the startup, a little bit of equity and enough dogs to play with until I became allergic, knew this was the right move. Being self-aware, I realized I didn’t deserve the role they gave me. I was confident in my skills, but figured they might’ve had clouded judgement if they were willing to give me such a key role so early in my career.
I felt like giving me complete autonomy and decision-making power over others wasn’t the best move for where I was in my career – the start. I didn’t build the company from the ground up and I didn’t help finance the operation. This was a company that was growing fast, and rather than finding the right person for the role, they found the first person for the role. I was extremely grateful, but wanted exposure to the wide variety of the technologies I so craved.

Looking back, I couldn’t be happier with all the choices I made. I’ve grown tremendously since my original skepticism and found I’m able and willing to help others even if I don’t benefit immediately. I was originally scared to be pigeonholed into a bad group, but quickly realized that hard work, networking and a little bit of luck trump any computer-generated pigeonhole.

Today, I’m a digital strategy consultant at IBM where I’ve worked on blockchain offerings, helped kickstart a Tech Talk series and even pushed a Fintech platform to market. I’m happy to be bridging the gap between the corporate world and startup ecosystem and can’t wait for the next adventure.

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